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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Live now on X:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Making waves on Slack:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Making waves on Facebook:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Reddit:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Making waves on Instagram:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Spotted on Messenger:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Just shared via Messenger:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Going viral on Discord:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Spotted on YouTube:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

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