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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,059

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Just landed via Slack:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Spotted on Instagram:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

0

5 months ago

beer, better, buzz, conversation, drinking, handsome, humor, point, starting, wear
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

0

5 months ago

clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear
I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

0

5 months ago

advice, deodorant, humor, hygiene, i, know, life, situation, still, tough, tough situation, wear

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All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Going viral on Slack:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Making waves on WeChat:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Trending via Twitch:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Spotted on WeChat:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨