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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,890

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Going viral on Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Trending via Twitch:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Breaking via YouTube:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Trending via YouTube:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

15 Funny weekday quotes

Funny weekday quotes bring a much-needed laugh to those Monday blues and midweek slumps! 😂✨ Whether you’re battling the 9-to-5 grind or just counting down to the weekend, these witty lines will brighten your day and keep your spirits high. From coffee cravings ☕ to office shenanigans 🖥️, get ready to chuckle your way through the workweek with some playful vibes! 🎉😄

New funny weekday quotes 👇

For even more funny weekday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny weekday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Live now on X:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Going bananas on Discord:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Just landed via Reddit:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

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