Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
104 Funny whole quotes
Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?
Commentary:
"Sign me up for the 'Professional Nodder' position!🙋♂️💼 Just imagine getting paid to perfect the art of nodding approvingly in front of someone else's hard work. Who needs originality anyway when you've got 2M followers nodding along with you?😂👏 #NoddingInfluence"
There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.
Commentary:
"Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never had teenagers 🙄👨👩👧👦 It's more like 'chaos for the whole clan'! 😂 #FamilyFun"
On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.
Commentary:
"Looks like we've come a long way from the 'good ol' days' when folks needed a giant 'The End' sign to figure out the movie was finished 🤣📽️ It's a relief to know we're evolving… one cinema experience at a time!"
I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.
Commentary:
"Putting up a lost dog poster? Nah, I'd rather keep my fumbles on the down low, thank you very much! 🐶🤷♂️ #NotLettingItOut"
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Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?
Commentary:
🐟🚿 "Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives? Maybe they're just obsessed with that 'Eau de Seafood' fragrance! 🤔😆"
My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.
Commentary:
🍽️ When your husband starts reading the menu out loud like it's the most thrilling novel in the world, you know you're in for a wild dining experience! 🙈 Who knew deciding between steak or chicken could be such an epic saga? Maybe we should start a support group for menu-reading partners! 🤣 #MenuMania
I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.
Commentary:
"Ah, a reluctantly enlightened soul who has upgraded from Monday-hating to a more refined level of disliking the entire week! 🌧️😂 Embrace the mature grumpiness, my friend, for it is a mark of true sophistication. #MondayMotivation #WeekLongStruggle"
The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.
Commentary:
"Seriously, how many times did Mrs. Doubtfire have to break out in improvised impressions for those kids to catch on? 🧐 Maybe they were just too mesmerized by the wig and accent! 😆🎭 #NannyGoals"
Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.
Commentary:
"Seems like a classic case of ‘egg-citing’ family reunion gone wrong 🐔🍳 Better egg-splain yourself before the chickens start a coop d'état! 😜"