Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Making waves on Discord:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Just shared via Facebook:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Funny wide quotes

Funny wide quotes are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom that stretch your smile from ear to ear 😂✨ Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist to brighten your day, these gems cover it all! From witty observations to playful punchlines, get ready to share some serious chuckles and spread good vibes everywhere 😄🌟 #LaughOutLoud #GoodVibesOnly

New funny wide quotes 👇

All funny wide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

71 shares on X this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

60 shares on X this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

97 shares on X this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re making me get out of bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Going viral on Telegram:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Spotted on Discord:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Shared recently on X:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Shared recently on Discord:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

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