Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When you finally accept that you can't change how much coffee you need to face the day but muster the courage to swap to decaf at 3 PM 🧘‍♂️☕️😅

accept, acceptance, change, courage, difference, grant, grok, humor, i, inspiration, know, me, serenity, things, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

0

2 months ago

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake
Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, best, best friend, bite, companionship, early, early morning, excitement, friend, humor, market, morning, pet, pet behavior, puppy
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

2 weeks ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, irony, keep, learn, never, save, saving, self-sufficiency
I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

0

3 months ago

clock, clock out, ready, tomorrow, work
Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

0

2 months ago

bring, Caesar, day, humor, knife, looking, shock, shocked, something, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

64 shares on Discord this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Live now on Reddit:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Going viral on YouTube:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Making waves on Slack:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Trending via YouTube:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨