Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Just landed via Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Spotted on X:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Breaking via Pinterest:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Making waves on Slack:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Trending via Facebook:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your husband’s pants play hide and seek better than the kids ever could! 🤦‍♂️👖🤣"

except, funny situation, hide, hide and seek, humor, husband, last, marriage, pants, put, search, searching, seek, situation, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, doing, doing stuff, Googling, humor, just, learning, life, life skills, reality, responsibility, skills, stuff
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

0

2 months ago

dating, found, humor, maybe, reason, romance, sarcasm, soul, soulmate, wit
Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

0

2 months ago

church, design, fart, humor, pew, shame, wooden
Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

0

2 months ago

expense, haircut, humor, insurance, necessity, self-care, should
The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

0

2 months ago

answer, being, calling, humor, i, number, people, phone, polls, reason, skepticism, trust, unknown, unknown number
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

commit, commit crime, crime, DNA, everywhere, hair, humor, i, identity, leave, me, never, personal, personal trait, trait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

32 shares on Discord this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Trending via Reddit:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Trending via YouTube:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Spotted on YouTube:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Spotted on Messenger:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Trending via Facebook:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Just landed via Reddit:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just landed via Instagram:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨