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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Making waves on Facebook:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Seen just now on Slack:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Live now on TikTok:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Finally laying down is the ultimate adventure—no passport required! 🛌😂

absolutely, bed, bedtime, comfort, excitement, getting, i, laying, laying down, love, relaxation

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58 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

35 shares on Threads this month:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Going viral on WeChat:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Trending via Pinterest:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

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Activity Log ✨

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨