Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Going viral on WeChat:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Trending via TikTok:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Just landed via Discord:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Spotted on Discord:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Breaking via Threads:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my genes filed a restraining order against my glow-up! 💥🧬😅

am, attempt, bloodline, body, body image, every, feel, fighting, gene, hot, humor, i, image, me, person, self-deprecating, step, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

0

2 months ago

career, drug, drug test, drugs, humor, ruin, test, testing, tests, workplace
Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

0

2 months ago

creativity, due, financial, financial reasons, humor, i, joke, money, nature, photosynthesis, reasons, sustainability
My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

0

2 months ago

frustration, gift, holiday, humor, husband, i, marriage, me, pissed, prank, put, remote, tree, under
Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

0

2 months ago

bad, being, diet, enjoyment, follow, food, humor, irony, lifestyle, loss, self-control, weight, weight loss
I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, justice, keep, law, little, notebook, observation, track, tracking
My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

0

5 months ago

comment, comments, concern, concerns, criticism, decor, deep, home, home decor, humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

91 shares on X this month:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

29 shares on Instagram this month:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

76 shares on Threads this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Live now on LinkedIn:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Just shared via Messenger:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Just landed via Instagram:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Trending via Telegram:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Shared recently on Threads:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Just shared via Instagram:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨