Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.
  • God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?
  • Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.
  • Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.
  • Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.
  • I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.