Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.
  • The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.
  • No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.
  • I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
  • I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.
  • Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”