Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Just landed via Messenger:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Breaking via Telegram:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Making waves on Instagram:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"

awakening, day, explain, food, humor, i, just, preference, quirky, randomness, surprise, taste, unexpected, wake, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

0

2 months ago

communication, emotion, expression, face, face reading, facial, facial expression, honesty, humor, i, keep, mouth, read, reading, sarcasm, shut, subtitles
Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

0

2 months ago

antique, auction, bidding, humor, joke, me, observation, people, self-deprecation, show
Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

0

2 months ago

bug, bugs, developer, finding, humor, irony, joke, love, nature, only, programming, spider, technology, web, web developer
If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

0

2 months ago

attitude, care, give, humor, motivation, remind, reminder, sarcasm, shit, yourself
Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, humor, life, relatable, responsibility, school, skip, work
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

62 shares on Threads this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

58 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

20 shares on Threads this month:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

100 shares on X this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Making waves on Slack:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Making waves on Discord:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Trending via Facebook:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Live now on Facebook:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They’re making me do work at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨