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Looks like the universe is waiting for a collective "Oops" moment before the good stuff rolls in! 😅🤦‍♂️💡 Maybe we need an epic slapstick reboot to remind everyone what smart looks like. Until then, keep your humor tight and your IQ higher! 😜📈

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

1 month ago

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Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

1 month ago

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Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

2 months ago

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Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

5 months ago

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I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

1 month ago

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I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

1 month ago

chef, cook, cooking, culinary, drink, food, humor, kitchen, wine

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

I had too much to think last night.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

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I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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