Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Just shared via Facebook:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Making waves on Twitch:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Going bananas on Instagram:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Just shared via Reddit:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

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I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ants exploring your kitchen: Gourmet adventures at crumb cuisine 🍞🚶‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

93 shares on X this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

40 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

14 shares on Slack this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,784

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Just shared via X:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just shared via Messenger:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Trending via Facebook:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

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