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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

β€œYou’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has copied:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Going viral on Reddit:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Breaking via Twitch:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Live now on Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Spotted on WeChat:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Shared recently on Discord:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Playful quote about ants enjoying unexpected crumbs, with a humorous and cheeky vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ants exploring your kitchen: Gourmet adventures at crumb cuisine πŸžπŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈ

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on TikTok this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine being social on social media.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

β€œYou’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has viewed:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Don’t fall for me β€” I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Going viral on Telegram:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Going viral on Reddit:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Just landed via X:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Just landed via TikTok:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Just landed via X:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Going viral on Threads:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

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