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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Making waves on YouTube:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on Discord:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Trending via Slack:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Trending via TikTok:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Trending via YouTube:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Just shared via YouTube:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Just landed via Slack:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream: getting paid to watch cat videos and calling it "work." 🐱🎥😅

being, complain, day, entertainment, hard, hate, i, laziness, life, nothing, react, slave, streamer, video, videos, wage, wage slave, want, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

0

22 hours ago

emotion, humor, i, love, poet, relationship, therapist, thrill, worry
Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

0

2 months ago

attitude, chore, daily, daily chore, dishwasher, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, sarcasm, unloading
Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, exercise, feelings, fitness, humor, lose, motivation, running, self-help, weight
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

0

5 months ago

am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want
It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

0

2 months ago

cleanup, couple, declutter, electronic, electronics, humor, okay, organization, past, rid, storage, tech, things
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

0

2 months ago

favorite, fitness, gym, humor, irony, joke, machine, snack, vending

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

29 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

66 shares on Slack this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Going viral on WeChat:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on Threads:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Seen just now on Threads:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Live now on Slack:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Slack:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Just shared via Messenger:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Making waves on Slack:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨