Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Spotted on Threads:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Spotted on Slack:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Spotted on Discord:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Trending via TikTok:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it could've given you a chocolate fountain instead! 🍋➡️🍫🎉

better, comparison, complaint, hate, humor, i, irony, people, perspective, phrase, say, too, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

0

2 months ago

communication, days, humor, just, overwhelm, people, saying, society, think
There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

0

2 months ago

attempt, dislike, failed, failure, frustration, hate, humor, i, nap, nothing, relaxation, sleep
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

0

2 months ago

affinity, bin, both, care, comparison, dirty, exploring, humor, parenting, puppy, smelly, toddler, trash
When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

0

2 months ago

accident, crime, death, humor, man, manslaughter, tickle
I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

0

2 months ago

cooking, crockpot, eat, horrible, humor, kitchen, love, new, wait
Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

0

2 months ago

apology, attraction, flirtation, hot, humor, i, pants, said, sorry, still, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Spotted on X:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Going viral on TikTok:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Live now on Discord:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Trending via Discord:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Going bananas on Threads:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Trending via Snapchat:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨