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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Trending via WeChat:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Spotted on Slack:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Making waves on Threads:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about needing a long nap, with a humorous, laid-back vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking self-care to a whole new level! 😴💤 Who knew rejuvenation could be this long-term? #NapGoals"

couple, exhaustion, humor, i, just, lie, lie down, need, procrastination, rest, year’s

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

37 shares on Slack this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Breaking via Messenger:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Shared recently on TikTok:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Going viral on Reddit:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Breaking via WeChat:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Going viral on WeChat:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Making waves on Facebook:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨