Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My love language is being sent money.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Going viral on Slack:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Making waves on Instagram:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Making waves on Slack:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Live now on Reddit:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Making waves on Reddit:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking self-care to a whole new level! 😴💤 Who knew rejuvenation could be this long-term? #NapGoals"

couple, exhaustion, humor, i, just, lie, lie down, need, procrastination, rest, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

0

2 months ago

conflict, expectations, extrovert, introvert, personality, pissed, plans, self, social, too
Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, i, just, know, knows, me, nobody, think
Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult theme, back, back pain, bad, bad knee, bed, early, early bed, excitement, going, interest, interest rate, knee, knees, movie, pain, rate, rates, theme, warning
My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, comfortable, feel, humor, i, irony, personality, skill, social, social skill, superpower, uncomfortable
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

0

2 months ago

dead, funny observation, humor, i, just, mistake, observation, rug, spider, thought, yarn
God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

0

2 months ago

bad, criticism, divine, God, humor, irony, life, perspective, self-reflection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

61 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Just shared via TikTok:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Spotted on Telegram:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Just landed via Telegram:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Just shared via YouTube:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Trending via Messenger:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Live now on Reddit:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨