Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.
  • “I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.
  • My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.
  • I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.
  • People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?
  • Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.