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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Just shared via YouTube:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Reported on Reddit:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Trending via WeChat:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Breaking via Twitch:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the classic "exactly" response to utter nonsense – it's the perfect blend of confusion and sass! 🤔🤷‍♂️ Next time someone spouts gibberish, just hit them with a deadpan "exactly" and watch the hilarity unfold. It's like adding a sprinkle of sarcasm to an already bizarre conversation! 😄👏

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Shared recently on X:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Just shared via WeChat:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Going viral on TikTok:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

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