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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on Telegram:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Spotted on Facebook:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Just landed via Telegram:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

10 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about enjoying universe’s humorous confirmations.

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Commentary:
When karma goes paperless and starts emailing hilarious updates 📧😂🧾

humor, i, karma, love, receipt, sarcasm, truth, universe

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98 shares on X this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Shared recently on Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

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Activity Log ✨

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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