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Commentary:
"Marching to the beat of your own dumb could lead to some interesting dance moves… or perhaps chaotic stumbling 🤪💃 Just make sure to bring your own unique rhythm section! 🥁🤣"

beat, dumb, humor, i, individuality, march, own

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

2 months ago

cash, desire, dollars, fun, girls, humor, i, just, million, money, want
Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

2 months ago

door, housefly, humor, i, joke, leaving, low, open, pest, running, thanks
If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

2 months ago

having, head, health, humor, looking, me, mental, mental health, myself, self-reflection, self-talk, session, therapy, zoned, zoned out
Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

2 months ago

commitment, depends, dining, drive-thru, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, restaurant, task
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

6 months ago

appearance, attractive, attractive person, fair, good, humor, jealousy, people, person, skill, talent, things, unfair
I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

2 months ago

actually, desire, employment, humor, i, job, laziness, need, sarcasm, where, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Slack this month:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

20 shares on Slack this month:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

62 shares on X this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Just landed via Messenger:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Just shared via Slack:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Spotted on WeChat:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Going viral on X:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨