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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Shared recently on X:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Trending via YouTube:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Trending via Telegram:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"When you achieve inner peace by turning your inbox into a black hole. 🌌📭😂"

ago, consequence, consequences, email, emails, fine, humor, i, procrastination, responding, response, silence, stopped, three

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

3 months ago
alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time
Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

4 days ago
affair, cheating, forget, humor, marriage, married, person, ready, relationship, shit, young, young person
I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

1 month ago
animals, concern, cute, humor, i, myself, opinion, opinions, sarcasm, satire, sheep
We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

1 month ago
break, evolution, humor, irony, life, observation, oh, people, think, too
The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

1 month ago
before, chores, date, humor, parenting, play, play date, pointless, tidy-up
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

1 month ago
center, humor, irony, learn, people, science, self-centered, surprise, universe

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Making waves on Threads:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Making waves on X:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

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I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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