Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Making waves on Reddit:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Live now on Slack:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Going viral on X:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Making waves on Discord:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Trending via Messenger:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Never eat more than you can lift.

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you achieve inner peace by turning your inbox into a black hole. 🌌📭😂"

ago, consequence, consequences, email, emails, fine, humor, i, procrastination, responding, response, silence, stopped, three

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

0

2 months ago

accidental, available, book, casual, coffee, coffee table, humor, media, new, novelty, pre-order, screenshot, screenshots, social, social media, table, tech
Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

0

2 months ago

big, black, Black Friday, consumerism, Friday, grocery, humor, put, sale, shopping, TV, TVs
Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, relatable, restart
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

0

2 months ago

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship
Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

0

3 months ago

communication, deaf, family, girlfriend, humor, loud, misunderstanding, mum, need, needs, relationship, slow, speak, special, special need, told
My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

0

3 months ago

again, appliance, belief, boomer, boomer belief, humor, malfunctioning, malfunctioning appliance, most, problem, problem-solving, slapping, solving, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

36 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Trending via Threads:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Just shared via WeChat:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Live now on Pinterest:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Shared recently on Slack:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Making waves on TikTok:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Broadcasted on Discord:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨