Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Spotted on X:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Trending via Discord:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Just shared via WeChat:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

0
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.
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Commentary:
"Ah, a true hero of social media—fighting oversharing one week at a time! 🦸‍♂️📉😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

94 shares on Slack this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Live now on WeChat:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Just shared via X:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Making waves on Threads:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Trending via Pinterest:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Making waves on Twitch:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Trending via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

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