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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Spotted on TikTok:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Trending via Twitch:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Live now on WeChat:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, a true hero of social media—fighting oversharing one week at a time! 🦸‍♂️📉😂"

appreciation, humor, i, just, notice, noticed, post, thank, wanted, week, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

0

2 months ago

activity, eat, ever, excuse, fear, hour, humor, i, last, never, procrastination, swim, think
A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

0

2 months ago

activity, call, fun, home, humor, prank, sick, stay, thing, work
Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

0

4 weeks ago

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism
Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

0

2 months ago

bubble, expectations, frustration, gardening, house, house plant, humor, ID, just, lifespan, plant, soap, soap bubble
Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

0

2 months ago

attached, dashboard, distraction, driving, ever, giant, humor, iPad, please, safety, technology, text, texting
A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

0

2 months ago

curryer, delivery, driver, food, food delivery, humor, indian, Indian food, pun

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

26 shares on Slack this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

29 shares on Discord this month:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on X:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Spotted on YouTube:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Spotted on X:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Going viral on TikTok:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Seen just now on Threads:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Making waves on Messenger:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨