Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Going bananas on Slack:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Trending via Pinterest:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Breaking via Instagram:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Going viral on Messenger:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Breaking via Twitch:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're just here for the snacks and drama! 🥤🍿😄

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

2 months ago

accident, actions, audio, audio sync, back, belt, belt loop, door, door handle, funny accident, handle, humor, loop, mishap, sync, yanked, yanked back
Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

2 months ago

button, dickhead, door, easier, fall, floor, frustration, humor, life, much, push, thinking, trap, trap door, wishful, wishful thinking
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight
Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

2 months ago

cry, expression, humor, money, sentiment, tear, wish
Calling the police when someone unfollows.

2 months ago

behavior, calling, digital, humor, internet, joke, media, online, online behavior, police, satire, social, social media, someone, unfollow
Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

2 months ago

fragrance, humor, irony, old, Old Spice, scent, smell, something, sound, spice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

92 shares on Discord this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Just shared via Telegram:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Making waves on Telegram:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Live now on Facebook:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via Messenger:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via TikTok:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Trending via TikTok:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨