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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Just landed via Discord:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Just landed via Slack:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Just landed via Threads:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Making waves on Slack:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're just here for the snacks and drama! 🥤🍿😄

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, exercise, feelings, fitness, humor, lose, motivation, running, self-help, weight
Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, blame, credit, God, humor, irony, lose, sports, talent, win
I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, i, just, number, older
Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

2 months ago

bring, consequences, days, devastation, digestive, digestive system, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, nobody, stuffing, system, warning
I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

3 weeks ago

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit
The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

2 months ago

choke, choking, cool, coworker, culture, darth, Darth Vader, force, humor, lost, meeting, pop, pop culture, scene, sci-fi, staff, staff meeting, star, Star Wars, used, vader, wars, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

50 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Going viral on Slack:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Spreading quickly via X:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Going viral on Threads:

January is the Monday of the year.

Making waves on Reddit:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Just shared via Telegram:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨