Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If I had a bf, I'd be a gf – simple math, really! 😂👫 It's all about relationships and algebra; solving for love! 💑 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation
I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

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2 months ago

always, attitude, confidence, everyone, hate, hotter, humor, i, me, self-love
Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, big, ears, great, hair, humor, shout, shout out, wind
Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

0

3 months ago

addiction, before, bottom, builder, casual, casual game, city, city builder, game, humor, mobile, mobile game, phone, procrastination, right, rock, rock bottom
I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

0

2 months ago

essential, ever, everything, humor, irony, money, need, purse
I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

0

2 months ago

age, doctor, feel, feeling, feeling old, hit, humor, i, life, me, old, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

15 shares on Discord this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Spotted on Threads:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Going bananas on Facebook:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Just landed via Discord:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Going bananas on Slack:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Spotted on X:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Shared recently on Threads:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨