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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

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If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.
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Commentary:
Sure, and if pigs could fly, they’d have private jets too! 🐷🛩️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

36 shares on X this month:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

24 shares on Threads this month:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

52 shares on X this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Just shared via YouTube:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Making waves on Discord:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Just landed via Twitch:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Breaking via Discord:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Making waves on Threads:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Spotted on X:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

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