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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just shared via YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Trending via Messenger:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Just shared via Snapchat:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

5 days ago

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Commentary:
Sure, and if pigs could fly, they’d have private jets too! 🐷🛩️

billionaire, humor, irony, sarcasm, thing, trust, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

1 month ago
absolutely, admit, confession, disgust, ever, humor, i, irony, me, mistake, mistakes, people, sarcasm, self-awareness
Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

4 months ago
couch, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastination, sure, today
The new American dream is an alien invasion.

1 month ago
alien, American, American dream, commentary, dream, humor, invasion, life, modern, modern life, new, satire, societal, societal commentary
Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

1 month ago
age, better, decision, experience, humor, know, life, old, rebellion, wisdom, young, youth
I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

1 month ago
Christmas, every, fat, gift, holiday, humor, i, joke, same, thing, tradition, year
“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

1 month ago
center, humor, life, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-centered

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Just landed via X:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending via WhatsApp:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

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Activity Log ✨

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

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If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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