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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Trending via Telegram:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Just landed via TikTok:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Trending via Telegram:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twitter: Where grammar rules go to die 🐦🚫📚 Emojis are the new spelling 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️ #SpellCheckIsMyBestie"

anything, bee, education, humor, irony, language, learning, lot, me, media, ready, social, social media, spelling, taught, Twitter, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, fortune telling, humor, lady, me, media, miss, said, social, social media, tarot, telling, TikTok
Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

0

2 months ago

advice, children, dirt, elementary, humor, kids, lip, loose, loose lip, nice, parenting, teacher
Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

0

2 months ago

comedy, commitment, destroy, destroying, humor, job, life, partnership, person, relationships
I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

0

5 months ago

cartoon, Cartoon Network, childhood, decision, entertainment, hardest, i, miss, network, Nickelodeon, nostalgia, TV
The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

0

2 months ago

children, dynamics, having, humor, other children, parenting, parents, social, social dynamics, thing, worst, worst thing
If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

0

5 months ago

attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

88 shares on Telegram this month:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

73 shares on X this month:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

98 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Just landed via Twitch:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨