Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Just landed via X:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Trending via Threads:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Trending via WeChat:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exercise? More like 'exit!' If I'm sprinting, it's less 'fit life' and more 'fight or flight!' 🏃‍♂️💨😂"

activity, chase, chasing, definitely, exercise, humor, joke, laughter, me, playful, run, running, should, something, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

0

6 months ago

behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts
I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted
Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

0

2 months ago

anti-capitalism, anything, code, critique, economics, humor, i, ignorance, just, know, misunderstanding, satire, works
You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, cha, cha cha cha, creativity, explaining, expression, fun, humor, nobody, sentence, want, yourself
Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, comedy, crisis, fashion, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, satire, should, war, wear, wonder, world
Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

0

2 months ago

food, gangster, humor, irony, pronounce, pronunciation, sauce, time, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

42 shares on Slack this month:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Breaking via Pinterest:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Just shared via Messenger:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just shared via Instagram:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨