Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Trending via Messenger:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Shared recently on X:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Just landed via Threads:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I'm happy, it's either a lucky glitch in my brain or I'm ignoring my to-do list like it's a toxic ex! 😅🤦‍♂️📋

attention, awareness, enough, happiness, happy, humor, irony, know, mood, observation, paying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

0

2 months ago

arts, Dodo, extinct, fu, humor, kung, Kung-Fu, kwon, martial, martial arts, Panda, parody, tae, Tae Kwon, wordplay
Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkwardness, humor, irony, situation, situations, social, social anxiety, sure, uncomfortable
My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

0

2 months ago

apologize, beauty, family, humor, joke, making, me, parents, self-deprecation, still, ugly
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, company, coverage, fun, fun activity, i, insurance, stolen, tent
My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

0

5 months ago

accident, animal, bird, flying, humor, spirit, spirit animal, unconscious, window, Windows
Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

0

2 months ago

documentary, here, humor, i, irony, me, murder, person, shows, small, small town, things, town, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Slack this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

66 shares on X this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Making waves on Facebook:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Just landed via Slack:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Just shared via Messenger:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Live now on Snapchat:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Going viral on Discord:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨