I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

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NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

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You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

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Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

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Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.