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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Trending via Pinterest:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Making waves on Threads:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Just landed via X:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Shared recently on Slack:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Shared recently on Discord:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

I’m here by unpopular demand.

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I’m here by unpopular demand.
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Commentary:
🎤 "Well, well, looks like someone is here by unpopular demand! 🙈 Let's give a round of applause for being everyone's least favorite party guest! 😂 Who needs popularity anyway when you've got sarcasm and self-deprecation on your side, am I right? 😜 Keep shining bright like the lone star you are, my friend! ✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on X this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

18 shares on Discord this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

100 shares on Threads this month:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

90 shares on Threads this month:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an unread email.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Going viral on Twitch:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Just shared via Threads:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Making waves on X:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Going bananas on Slack:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Just landed via Threads:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

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