Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Trending via Facebook:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Live now on TikTok:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Spotted on Messenger:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just shared via Messenger:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Making waves on Twitch:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We’ve got a shituation here.

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Not all monsters wear fangs and fur—some wear mascara and know where the snacks are hidden! 😈💄🍕

banter, girl, humor, identity, insult, just, monster, playful, playful banter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

0

2 weeks ago

beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year
Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

0

2 months ago

around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women
Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, expectation, frustration, getting, humor, mad, mystery, show, solve, suspense, TV, TV Show, unsolved, Unsolved Mystery, watching
My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

0

5 months ago

add, ever, every, flag, humor, i, iPod, just, liked, liked song, music, playlist, playlists, red, red flag, shuffle, song, songs, Spotify
Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, chores, cleaning, dentist, dentist appointment, humor, i, kitchen, laundry, making, plant, procrastination, saw, watered
Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

0

2 months ago

back, date, funny remark, humor, irony, life, relationship, remark, sarcasm, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

51 shares on X this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending via WeChat:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Making waves on TikTok:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨