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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Breaking via X:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Spotted on Slack:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Making waves on Messenger:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Making waves on Discord:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Trending via Slack:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Making waves on Facebook:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Just shared via Telegram:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

3 months ago

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Not all monsters wear fangs and fur—some wear mascara and know where the snacks are hidden! 😈💄🍕

banter, girl, humor, identity, insult, just, monster, playful, playful banter

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

12 shares on X this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Shared recently on X:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Shared recently on Discord:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Making waves on WeChat:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Just landed via Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Just shared via Reddit:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

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Activity Log ✨

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨