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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Broadcasted on Threads:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Trending via Discord:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Spotted on X:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Spotted on Slack:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just what we need, a T-Rex trying to swipe right on our problems 🦖📱😂

absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

0

2 months ago

confusion, date, day, enough, humor, i, procrastination, stress, time
You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

0

2 months ago

criticism, expectations, family, honesty, humor, just, kids, own, parenting, self-critique, think, wait, worst
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

0

2 months ago

advice, date, food, guys, humor, hungry, just, pantry, relationships, trying
I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

0

2 months ago

consumption, couple, days, dish, food, humor, i, last, mayo, much, potato, potato salad, salad, side, side dish, summer, sweating
Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

0

5 months ago

block, blocking, communication, humor, life, love, media, people, relationship, sarcasm, short, social, social media, sooner, tell, truth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

76 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Just landed via Reddit:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Breaking via Threads:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨