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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

They’re making me do work at work.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Making waves on WeChat:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Making waves on Facebook:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just landed via Slack:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Just landed via YouTube:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Breaking via Threads:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a purr-fect plan! 🐱🏡😸

cat, cool, humor, i, intrusion, just, leave, life, never, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

4 months ago

age, beginning, change, decision, everything, good, know, leave, life, life change, love, new, new beginning, over, start, starting, starting over, uncertainty
You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

2 months ago

entertainment, exit, humor, joke, sarcasm, wit
I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

2 months ago

apologize, bad, bad terms, communication, end, end year, humor, relationship, request, terms, want, year
At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

2 months ago

assume, assumption, buy, everyone, going, humor, just, loser, point, Tesla
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, comedy, folly, genuine, human, human folly, humor, i, intelligence, next, prediction, satire, stupidity, technology, war, world
Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

2 months ago

after, day, enough, exhaustion, me, me time, neurodivergent, refuse, sleep, survival, time, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

10 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Making waves on X:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spotted on Threads:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Making waves on YouTube:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨