Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Making waves on Telegram:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Shared recently on Threads:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Trending via Facebook:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Trending via Messenger:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Shared recently on Slack:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Learning the hard way that wrestling storylines aren’t family trees! 🎅🤼‍♂️👨‍👦

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

2 months ago

backstory, counting, emotional, emotional investment, emotionally, humor, i, invested, investment, need, sheep, sleep, therapy, think, tried
My love language is being sent money.

2 months ago

affection, being, finance, gift, humor, language, love, love language, money, relationship
I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

3 months ago

90s, 90s hip hop, citizen, folks, generation, heavy, heavy metal, hip, home, homes, hop, humor, i, kind, metal, music, nostalgia, old, old folks’ home, rap, senior, senior citizen, wait
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

3 months ago

aging, excuse, experience, growing, growing up, humor, life, think, young, youth
My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

2 months ago

fading, family, family photo, humor, irony, life, marty, Marty McFly, mcfly, nostalgia, photo, plans, time
“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

3 months ago

busy, call, depends, me, need, plans, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Spotted on Reddit:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Seen just now on Discord:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Freshly posted on X:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Seen just now on X:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Spotted on WeChat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

My love language is being sent money.

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨