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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Breaking via Twitch:

They’re making me do work at work.

Spotted on Facebook:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Must be that pesky self-respect upgrade kicking in 😂💁‍♀️🔧

attitude, behavior, different, disrespect, ever, i, men, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, cart, dollars, humor, humor quote, million, money, online, online shopping, procrastination, savings, shopping, spending
Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

0

2 months ago

alphabet, critique, educational, educational movie, humor, irony, kids, movie, movie critique, teach, v, V for Vendetta, vendetta
I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

0

2 months ago

age, crisis, humor, joke, life, life stages, midlife, midlife crisis, older, remark, stages, witty, witty remark
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

0

2 months ago

again, bore, boring, boss, conference, humor, me, show, work, Zoom
I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

0

2 months ago

90s, culture, earlier, entertainment, hours, humor, i, just, kids, love, movy, nostalgia, phones, set, technology, teenager, watching, youth
Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

0

2 months ago

animated, animated film, comedy, cooking, even, evil, film, food, hilarious, humor, just, misunderstanding, rat, Ratatouille, villain, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

54 shares on X this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

31 shares on YouTube this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

80 shares on X this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just landed via Telegram:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Spotted on Facebook:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Seen just now on Threads:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Spotted on X:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Just landed via WeChat:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨