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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Going viral on Slack:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Trending via WeChat:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Making waves on WeChat:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending via WeChat:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Live now on Slack:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Just landed via TikTok:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.
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Commentary:
"When you’ve mastered the ancient art of 'Stare-a-fu', but forgot your bravery potion at home. 🥺👀✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Shared recently on Telegram:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Making waves on TikTok:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Going viral on Threads:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

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