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Commentary:
Looks like May is about to become the month of money magic! 💸✨ Here's hoping your wallet gets its own bouquet of cash flowers. 🌸💰 May the financial good vibes flow your way! 😄🙌

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

0

2 months ago

dying, fitness, health, health nut, hospital, humor, irony, lifestyle, lying, mortality, nothing, nut, sarcasm, someday, stupid
Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

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2 months ago

bro, confidence, culture, doubt, humor, irony, never, stereotype, tech, tech bro, tech culture, wrong
Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

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2 months ago

analogy, bang, furniture, humor, pinky, pinky toe, playful, relationship, toe
Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

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2 months ago

3, accomplish, animation, brevity, comparison, entertainment, girl, girls, hours, humor, Marvel, minutes, movy, need, powerpuff, Powerpuff Girl, superhero, time, why
I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

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4 months ago

bustle, dally, dilly, humor, hustle, i, laziness, procrastination, relaxation
The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

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2 months ago

animal, concern, depressed, depression, humor, irony, lion

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

52 shares on Slack this month:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Seen just now on Slack:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Breaking via Slack:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Just shared via Reddit:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Seen just now on X:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨