Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Going viral on WeChat:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Going viral on X:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Live now on Snapchat:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Shared recently on Facebook:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
What a plot twist! I’m just a human caught in an office-themed episode of Lost. 🏝️🔍🏢

am, feeling, frustration, humor, i, long weekend, machine, meant, refreshed, trapped, weekend, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

0

2 months ago

awareness, humor, irony, life, ruining, sarcasm, self-aware, thanks
It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

0

2 months ago

blank, hours, humor, i, life, procrastination, reflection, stare, straight, think, time, wall, where, wrong
“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

0

2 months ago

before, changes, communication, elegant, Friday, hear, humor, problems, solution, solve, work, work humor
My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

0

2 months ago

aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship
My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

0

2 months ago

cheetos, contradiction, flamin’, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, hot, humor, kid, me, parenting, snack, spicy, toothpaste, trouble
Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, am, email, escape, filled, funny response, humor, i, making, message, pockets, procrastination, response, sea, stones, thanks, unfortunately

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Just shared via YouTube:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Spotted on Slack:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Just landed via Discord:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Live now on X:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Just landed via WeChat:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Making waves on Messenger:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Spotted on Messenger:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨