Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Making waves on Twitch:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Live now on Twitch:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Trending via YouTube:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Live now on Reddit:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Plot twist: I got promoted from passive spectator to chief schemer 😂🔍✨

confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

0

2 months ago

activity, data, enough, excel, fun, fun activity, habits, humor, i, insights, listening, music, personal, personal insights, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, spreadsheet, technology, want, wrapped
I suffer from awesomnia.

0

2 months ago

awesomnia, comedy, humor, i, insomnia, issues, sleep, sleep issues, wordplay
I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

0

2 months ago

act, crazy, dating, hate, i, month, months, new, relationship, relationships, start
God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, eat, flakes, food, frosted, Frosted Flakes, God, going, humor, invention, likes, okay, tiger
Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

0

2 months ago

comparison, confidence, Fiji, Fiji water, humor, let, pond, pond water, positivity, self-worth, treat, water
I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, am, announcement, fight, humor, irony, proud, sobriety, struggle, winning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

78 shares on X this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Live now on Reddit:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Shared recently on Threads:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Just shared via Messenger:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Spotted on Discord:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Breaking via WeChat:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

I suffer from awesomnia.

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨