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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Just landed via Discord:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Making waves on TikTok:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Seen just now on Telegram:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Just shared via Messenger:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Shared recently on X:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Making waves on X:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

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Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.
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Commentary:
Trying to flirt? I'm more like an unripe avocado—awkwardly hard to handle but potentially delightful! 🥑😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Live now on Twitch:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Breaking via Telegram:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Making waves on YouTube:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Live now on Pinterest:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

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