Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Making waves on WeChat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Live now on Telegram:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Spotted on Reddit:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Trending via YouTube:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Just shared via Twitch:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Just landed via Discord:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

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Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.
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Commentary:
Trying to flirt? I'm more like an unripe avocado—awkwardly hard to handle but potentially delightful! 🥑😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

34 shares on Discord this month:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

65 shares on X this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

65 shares on WeChat this month:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just shared via YouTube:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Going viral on Telegram:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Just shared via Discord:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Seen just now on X:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

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