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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Talents: eating!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Going viral on Discord:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Making waves on Twitch:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Just landed via WeChat:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Spotted on Messenger:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Seen just now on X:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about aging and life's small surprises, featuring witty reflections on growing up.

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Commentary:
Adulting Level 100: Picking the VIP burner like it's a reality show 🌟🔥 #BurnerBonanza

aging, burner, carefree, change, day, favorite, humor, life, life stages, next, stages, stove, stove burner, young, youth

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45 shares on Messenger this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

11 shares on X this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

35 shares on X this month:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

19 shares on Discord this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Trending via Pinterest:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Trending via Threads:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Just shared via Reddit:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

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Activity Log ✨

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨