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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,950

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Going viral on Threads:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Just shared via TikTok:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Live now on Facebook:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Making waves on Threads:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Live now on Discord:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like even Mother Nature gets stage fright sometimes! 🌩️🙈✨

disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

1 month ago

flirting, gender, gender stereotype, humor, job, kindness, man, mistake, misunderstanding, stereotype
“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

5 months ago

Amtrak, customer, customer service, humor, joke, Monopoly, problem, service, thank, train, transportation, travel
I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

1 month ago

bag, crisps, family, food, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, snack
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

1 month ago

communication, conversation, hate, humor, i, irony, language, media, misinterpretation, misunderstanding, online, online conversation, only, pancakes, place, sarcasm, say, social, social media, somebody, still, Twitter, waffles, where
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

5 months ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

1 month ago

apology, communication, honesty, humor, i, nothing, sarcasm, say, silence, social, sorry, touch, witty

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Going viral on Threads:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Making waves on TikTok:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

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Activity Log ✨

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

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One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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