Commentary:
Missing you like a Wi-Fi signal on a road trip 🚗📶❤️
Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.
Commentary:
In an alternate universe, I've got a mean right hook and a lot fewer apologies to make! 🥊😆
Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?
Commentary:
When did life become a choice between wedding bells and being the next James Bond? 🍾💍✈️😎
Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.
Commentary:
Mustangs traded their roar for a gentle neigh 😂🏎️➡️🐴
Tonight, the moon is staring at me.
Commentary:
Looks like the moon's got 20/20 vision and is making me its next Netflix binge! 🌝👀📺
I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're just one closet away from a chore-lympics event! 🧺👕😂
Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.
Commentary:
Looks like Baby finally found a corner office! 🍼🔄🕺
Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’
Commentary:
When you turn your prayers into 'Find My Device' 😂🙏🎧
So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’
Commentary:
Who knew LEGO could get all shook up? 😂🕺🧱
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.
Commentary:
Sounds like you hit all the high notes when no one's around! 🚗🚿🎤