Commentary:
Too true! Nothing like dancing through the aisles of the hardware store, groovin’ to the sound of hammers and wrenches 🕺🔨😄
I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.
Commentary:
Working 24/7, even in my dreams! Can I get paid in sleep next time? 😴💼✨
Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.
Commentary:
Trying to find 90's love today is like bringing your Walkman to a Spotify party 🎧😂📻
This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.
Commentary:
This post will self-destruct in 3…2…oops, too late! 🤯🤫👀
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.
Commentary:
Soulmates: 280 characters away from eternal happiness! 😂📱❤️ #TweetYourWayToLove
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.
Commentary:
Move over, Titanic! Batman Forever is the true love story 😂🌹🦇
Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.
Commentary:
Sounds like the group project is more about survival than success! 🤓📚💡
Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?
Commentary:
Congratulations! You've unlocked the secret level of blinking mastery! 🐤👀🎯
Have you tried making guacamole about it?
Commentary:
Why stress when you can avo-cuddle with some guac! 🥑😂
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.
Commentary:
😂🍔 If your burger arrives sideways and you lose it, maybe the problem isn't the sandwich! 🍟😆