Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?” Posted onMay 19, 2026
I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen. Posted onMay 19, 2026
You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate. Posted onMay 19, 2026
People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at. Posted onMay 19, 2026
No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags. Posted onMay 19, 2026
“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today. Posted onMay 19, 2026