Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Shared recently on X:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Freshly posted on X:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Just landed via Threads:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Going viral on Discord:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
God must be adding some extra soy sauce to his jokes today 😂🙏🍜

accent, Chinese, Chinese accent, cracking, funny prayer, God, humor, laughter, prayer, praying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

0

2 months ago

age, call, comfort, days, excited, excitement, home, i, just, lay, lay down, me, old, old age, relaxation, tiredness
Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

0

4 months ago

being, confession, got, humor, identity, just, mess, myself, personality, self
And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

0

3 days ago

event, global, global event, humor, i, irony, pandemic, survival, think
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

0

5 months ago

call, circle, humor, i, know, loneliness, phone, phone call, rings, scammer, small, small circle, social, social circle
Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

0

4 months ago

app, back, close, digital, digital life, dire, feel, frustration, humor, i, life, open, procrastination, reopening, technology, whenever
My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

0

2 months ago

advice, asylum, friends, give, health, humor, i, irony, mental, mental health, self-awareness, toxic, toxic trait, trait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

77 shares on Telegram this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Back to the Future and chill?

85 shares on Messenger this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

100 shares on X this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

18 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Breaking via Twitch:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Going viral on TikTok:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Spotted on Instagram:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Seen just now on TikTok:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨