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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Just shared via X:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Going bananas on Facebook:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Just landed via Slack:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Seen just now on X:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

6 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Exploring new planets while conserving energy—NASA should take notes! 🚿👽🌧️

alien, alien planet, bath, bath time, dark, humor, i, imagination, planet, pretend, rainforest, shower, sometimes, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

2 months ago

Facebook, humor, media, own, pass, procrastination, social, social media, time
Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

4 months ago

casual, casual research, humor, me, research, revelation, source, walk
I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

2 months ago

comparison, eye, feel, funny comparison, humor, i, irony, juice, naming, orange, orange juice, person, pink, pink eye
The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

2 months ago

activity, board, board game, competitive, fit, frustration, fun, fun activity, game, games, human, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, interaction, know, me, monster, personality, play, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, version
When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

2 months ago

activity, bad, bad handwriting, fun, fun activity, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, notes, problem, problem-solving, riddles, self-deprecating, solve, solving, yourself
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

2 months ago

activity, being, better, cigarette, cigarettes, dream, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, LinkedIn, networking, socializing, tool

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Discord this month:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

15 shares on X this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

78 shares on Discord this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

31 shares on X this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Spotted on Threads:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Seen just now on X:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨