Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Spotted on Messenger:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Trending via Threads:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Shared recently on Threads:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Seen just now on Slack:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just landed via Pinterest:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Making waves on Twitch:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The phone rang, my motivation didn't. 📞🙃

call, everything, excuse, humor, i, missed, missed call, phone, procrastination, ring, ringing, ringing phone, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

0

1 month ago

ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep
I love it when God gives me money.

0

3 months ago

God, gratitude, humor, i, love, me, money
Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, doing, hate, humor, lose, losing, motivation, procrastination, things
If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

0

2 months ago

creativity, fall, flirtation, humor, love, me, poetry, regret, relationship, romance
Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

0

4 weeks ago

bros., buy, buyout, cash, corporate, corporate buyout, enough, entertainment, family, irony, mom, Netflix, password, password sharing, passwords, poor, service, shared, sharing, streaming, streaming service, warner, Warner Bros.
Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

0

2 months ago

age, always, bit, growth, humor, individuality, me, older, people, personality, self-awareness, strange

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

33 shares on X this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

94 shares on Threads this month:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Spotted on Facebook:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Breaking via Messenger:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Just shared via Slack:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Trending via Discord:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Just landed via TikTok:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

I love it when God gives me money.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨