Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Spotted on Telegram:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Trending via Threads:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Live now on Telegram:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a fiery romance novel! 🔥🐉📖

dragon, girl, tattoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

0

2 months ago

addiction, behavior, car, cars, dependence, distraction, epidemic, funny observation, just, life, observation, parked, parked car, people, phone, phone addiction, phones, social, social behavior, staring, technology, technology dependence, urban, urban life
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult hack, again, away, carefully, favourite, forgetfulness, hack, humor, i, important, important thing, life, life skill, lose, never, organization, put, skill, something, thing
Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

0

2 months ago

am, best, best friend, friend, friends, fun, humor, i, insane, relatable, run
And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

0

2 months ago

after, date, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, legs, relationship, shaved, shaving, think
As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

0

4 months ago

entertainment, forgive, humor, low, low self-esteem, man, men, need, self-esteem, woman, yourself
My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

0

2 months ago

dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

32 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Just shared via YouTube:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Making waves on TikTok:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Making waves on X:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Spotted on Messenger:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Seen just now on Discord:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨