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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Just landed via WeChat:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Seen just now on WeChat:

My parents think they know me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why send a text when you can send smoke signals and ensure everyone knows about your forgetfulness? 🎉🔥📵

act, birthday, communication, final, happy, humor, irony, love, relationship, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

0

2 months ago

aliens, goal, humor, just, know, side, sure, year
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

0

5 months ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference
I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

0

2 months ago

backfield, football, giggle, humor, i, immature, just, maniac, me, much, penetration, sports, too, watch
I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

0

2 months ago

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth
Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

0

2 months ago

baby, corner, discipline, humor, maybe, parenting, put, wants
A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

0

3 months ago

adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

37 shares on X this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

47 shares on X this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Seen just now on WeChat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Going viral on Slack:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Seen just now on Discord:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨